My daughter is 5 now. She’s discovered the joy of telling jokes. Unfortunately, her repertoire is painfully small. I’ve also realised most of my jokes are either not age appropriate or too situational.
What are best/worst kids jokes? Extra points for any that would make her teacher groan. Apparently she LOVES jokes. 😁
Q: What’s brown and sticky? A: A stick
Why shouldn’t you go the forest at noon?
That’s when the ripe elephants fall from the trees.Why does the alligator have such a flat nose?
Because he went to the forest at noon.Bonus points if you space them out a bit with unrelated jokes.
Why are chickens so cool?
B’caws
Knock knock
Owls
Owls whoo
Yes they do
whats long, brown, and sticky? a stick.
what’s long, blue, and sticky? a blue stick.
ive found kids live this due to the misdirection and then doubling down on it.
What’s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
My favorite clean joke, what do call a ship on the ocean floor that twitches? A nervous wreck.
Two nuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
My kiddo loved that around her age.
That does not sound very age appropriate
What’s inappropriate about a salted nut?
It’s offensive to people with hypernatremia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypernatremia
Hypernatremia is a high concentration of sodium in the blood for people who nut often.
Symptoms include weak knees, sore arms, and a salty taste in the mouth.
lmao
I don’t get it
Nuts often are salted. A salted, assaulted.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Bah-dum-tsss.
There’s a dad jokes lemmy!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and you’ll find out!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Because it didn’t have any body to go with
Wow, I’ve heard both of these with different punchlines:
-
Lettuce out, it’s cold in here!
-
Because it didn’t have the guts.
-
A big hole was dug at the police station. They’re currently looking into it.
Why do firefighters wear red suspenders? Keeps their pants up.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
The interruptive cow
The interrup-
MOOOOOO
Why’d the cookie go to the hospital?
He was feeling crummy!
What’d the envelope say to the stamp?
Stick with me, kid, we’ll go places.
What has five toes and is not your foot?
My foot!
That one should definitely get a groan out of her teacher!
From: plutopiaworld
Did you know that the US government keeps and provides access to a database of dad jokes on fatherhood.gov, one joke at a time?
You could also snag this full dad jokes database from kaggle which contains over 13k dad jokes.
Hope you both enjoy!
Ty
Leave it up to lemmy to provide the link for government approved dad jokes…
Liberals… always going back to the governments teet.
I agree. This is definitely an ideal context to talk about politics.
I like make my own jokes homegrown on the range using, cough, tax-subsidised water…
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
You’re making a good owl!
My parents told me this was my favorite joke when I was around your daughter’s age. Apparently I used the joke non-stop and my parents still laughed every time because of how much I cracked up at my own joke.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Aww don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
Knock knock.
Who’s There?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could Yodel!