I have been through extremes with my body. I once restricted so much that I fell into anorexia, only to swing to the other end—bulimia. I forced myself to stop walking 20,000 steps a day and, a month ago, overcame bulimia. But now, I find myself struggling with binge eating and orthorexia, something I suspect has lingered beneath the surface for a while. I follow a strict vegan diet, eating only “clean” whole foods, yet my weight has fluctuated drastically over the past year. I dropped from 110 pounds to 90, only to climb to where I am now: around 145 pounds at 5’4. And I feel awful. I look in the mirror and barely recognize myself. My face feels fuller, my body softer, and I can’t help but long for the version of me with less belly and thigh fat. I avoid mirrors because I hate what I see. I wonder if losing weight would make me prettier, or if I’m just… ugly now? Girls in my class make fun of my appearance, and the boys dont really talk to me except a select few who call me annoying and point out random aspects of my appearance that make me feel insecure. I want brutal honesty. Should I lose weight? Would it change anything? Or am I just stuck feeling this way? (17f)

  • RoseLentara@lemmy.worldOP
    1·
    3 months ago

    No, it’s not that, it just hurts and makes my brain feel foggy and sluggish. I have pletly of fibre in my diet and I love brocoli as well, so I think I’m a lost cause…

      • RoseLentara@lemmy.worldOP
        1·
        3 months ago

        I’ve tried everything😭When I was little, I was a seafood and meat eater, but it made me so sick that I would throw up (multiple times in a week)

        • Skeezix@lemmy.worldEnglish
          1·
          3 months ago

          well then for what its worth I can tell you that you look italian or spanish with big brown expressive beautiful eyes. You have a cute nose, a pretty beauty mark, and nice full lips. Your face has a nice pleasant shape, your full eyebrows compliment it all nicely. whatever is below your neck is not that important especially since you are eating healthy. The only thing you need to work on is finding your confidence so that you feel as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. cheers.