• cybervseas@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      As Stephen Colbert gleefully said of the couch story last week, “It’s not true, and nobody cares.”

      • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        The best part is that it really is kind of thing he might be into. It means that any attempt to deny it either makes him look much worse, or much more guilty.

        • MagicShel@programming.dev
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          2 months ago

          Do you think anyone out there is trying it, American Pie-like? With a greasy rubber glove stuck to their junk?

          Because that would be pretty great, too.

          • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            Horny teenagers probably did it within minutes.

            Hell.

            Vance probably tried it after a day or two. Probably the first time he hasn’t had any complaints after.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I loved Seth Meyers’ first joke about it when he came back off break (which is when Trump picked Vance):

      “It’s NOT TRUE that JD Vance had sex with a couch. It is JUST A RUMOR!”

      “It was just hand stuff.”

    • Tja@programming.dev
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      2 months ago

      However a lot of people are saying. Strong people, tough people. And they are saying very strongly. Lots of people. I don’t know, but a lot of people are saying it.

    • CeruleanRuin@lemmings.world
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      2 months ago

      The best thing about it is that nobody actually believes it’s a real story. But it’s a great joke, because it just fits him so well. And the joke isn’t just that he would romance a loveseat, but that he might write about it without an ounce of self-awareness. The dude is not just awkward as fuck, but in a sinister sort of way. You could easily believe that if you left him alone with your own sofa, he might do unspeakable things.