• 3 Posts
  • 15 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • The actual router rented out by the service provider. I don’t think they would be happy with me messing with their property.

    I also lived somewhere else where I didn’t have access to the main router so I use the extender as my personal network for file transfers, a few lights with a couple switches and my terrarium thermostat. If anything happens to the main router, I can just turn my extender into an access point and still have my personal network.

    TP-Link requires an account to use my own extender which annoys me. Their app redirects my connection to my extender through their cloud service. It’s not my VPN because I can still connect through the browser. Seems shadey and I don’t like having the account already.


  • Unfortunately I feel this conversation has become deadlocked for a number of reasons.

    You have clearly dismissed a fellow person with a valid observation and left no room for open discussion. When given the opportunity to express why you do not agree, you continue to be dismissive.

    You have ignored the topics that has been brought up and are being discussed. In this case emotional intelligence, particularly among men.

    You have not made an attempt to clearly connect your various points into a cohesive argument.

    You have not expressed what you have studied in your own words. To express ideas in your own words would show the rest of us how you perceive and understand a topic. This would be a great base for having a meaningful conversation.

    Lastly, you have done nothing but blindly praise an individual on a podcast. If the words in your initial post are true, we should never worship anyone.

    Taking a step back away from everyone and everything to think of why we react to other peoples words may help us to understand ourselves better. And that’s a good thing.

    At this point I am done. As a fellow individual with ADHD (and Autism), I wish you the best on your mental health journey and I hope you approach it with an open heart and open mind. Thank you for giving me a new perspective for me to think about and hopefully understand in the future.


  • In order to engage you in meaningful discussion, I need to understand your thoughts and perspectives more from your own words.

    Why do you not trust the personal view of another lemmy user? We are on a social platform made for discussing a variety of topics and we will always encounter different views. Hopefully this leads to exploring and expanding our own views on the topics we bring up.

    I would also like to stay on the topic of men and emotional intelligence which was brought up by LoreleiSankTheShip. I currently do not see how neurodivergence and generational workforces fit into this discussion unless you can clearly state the connections for me.

    I do agree with you that the importance of mental health and it’s approaches are not very well explained. However, empathy carries a lot of weight in the discussion of mental health and should not be undermined or under valued.

    Lastly, it’s easy to link a video of an expert, but experts are human and can fall for personal biases too. If you can explain to me your interpretation of what this expert is saying, we can begin to have a thorough discussion. Otherwise, I fear we may be deadlocked and nothing more will come of this.

    I did watch your recommended clip and am still struggling to understand your view point.


  • People in general can learn something from stoicism. From a philosophical standpoint it can be a good place to provide tools for improving yourself from within. However, I also find it hard to accept that men are inherently emotionally weaker than women for many of the reasons mentioned by LoreleiSankTheShip.

    Modern societies extert incredible pressure on people to conform to unreasonable expectations which greatly repress individuality. These pressures start early and are persistent. Emotionally intelligent men exist and have always existed. I could easily believe many of these men couldn’t even begin to define or explain stoicism. Their emotional intelligence could have been learned from family, friends, partners or community.

    A broad and over generalized expectation of modern men are that they be strong and courageous. That they act as independent individuals to care for their family or community. Traits which could be mistaken for a surface level of stoicism.

    What we are seeing today in is very much a lack of emotional intelligence. There is a very noticeable deficiency in emotional intelligence in men when compared to women. Unable to reflect inwards about their motivations and outward actions. Unable to empathetically understand how their actions affect those around them. Unable to to identity, verbalize or express the emotions which are happening within them. As a result, men don’t have the proper understanding of themselves to begin the process of improving themselves. Trans men offer a unique insight into this as they have had the opportunity to experience two worlds of gender expectations.

    But humans are social animals. Many mammals exhibit social needs. We can look to our closest friends such as cats and dogs and see how true that is. We’ve reached a point where our social communities are fragmented and broken. The ideal of a strong man is heavily expected to replace that missing sense of community.

    It’s become and issue so deep and entangled that it’s hard to know where to even begin. I wish there was a simple -ism to unravel this mess but a person is complex. Eight billion people with eight billion unique perspectives is a level of complexity we just don’t know how to even comprehend or manage.

    We can start by teaching emotional understanding from within, by being good examples, by creating and maintaining communities or by calling out bad behavior. Unfortunately, these actions can be attacked. It’s an uphill battle and the hill is looking very steep.






  • I had been involved with the labour board over a wrongful termination dispute. I made complaints about about an abusive workplace and was shitcanned as a result.

    During the final settlement where the lawyers were fighting over what my settlement payment would be, my lawyer and I had a bit of a discussion revolving around mental health.

    She suggested I should consider a move into mental health services as I was essentially writing off continuing my trade apprenticeship by this point. She noted that I am a good listener and have a very clear understanding of mental health. She even offered to get me in contact with those in the mental health field.

    It’s been heavily on my mind to go down that path but a part of me is intimidated. I’ve been able to help a few close friends who all experienced some heavy mental issues over the past couple years but these are people who I’ve become close to and am able to help them through a deep understanding of them.

    I tend to get attached to people easily and I’m not sure how I’ll be able to separate work thoughts from my own thoughts meant for my own time. What heavy burdens will make it home with me?

    Would I be good at working in such a field? According to my lawyer and those closest to me, I’d be great. But what am I going to do about my own mental health if I follow that path path? I can barely handle children and I’m the biggest kid in my own life. It’s already a monumental effort to keep myself fed and not spontaneously running into traffic.


  • I have a meeting tomorrow morning with a mediator and representatives from my old company with my lawyer tomorrow.

    I’m trying to get my job back since they fired me in response to bringing up issues of abusive behaviour in the workplace. They are trying to get me to back down and disappear.

    I have mixed feelings. A part of me wants my job back. The act itself would spit in the face of the general manager who is rotten to his very core.

    The other part of me thinks I’ve done enough damage and can safely call it quits by taking a money offer. I exposed to corporate just how awful management at my company was and in response to my firing, corporate has forced several costly updates to work flow practices at the company, cracked down hard on all the unsafe work practices, refused to represent them in my labour board reprisal claim and forced the HR manager to retire ahead of her scheduled retirement plant (I assume, it’s convenient she retired a month after my claim was officially filed and not in 2024 as scheduled).

    Tomorrow I’ll have to pick my battle carefully. As much as I’d love to drag this company to the human rights tribunal, I’m also pretty tired and should consider taking the wins I already achieved.

    Bureaucracy is fucking lame.



  • I recently recieved a bit of offhand news that has made me a lot more relaxed about an important meeting I have at the end of September.

    I was speaking with a person I used to work with about a trip he and his fiancé took recently when he caually mentioned out of nowhere that the HR manager at work retired at the end of July. That random little fact sent my mind into a whirlwind for a couple days.

    Just over a year ago I had been terminated from my job as an apprentice at a place that builds automation assembly lines. That termination came after I had brought up concerns and frustrations with how the company had begun treating people after covid arrived. I also brought up concerns about workplace culture and how toxic it had become.

    I had been terminated approximately 10 months after the monthly employee meeting where I first confronted the GM (General Manager) about how apprentices were being treated poorly and not learning the proper skills. This is important because once people start retiring, there is going to be a huge skill and knowledge gap.

    After that monthly meeting, I had a meeting with the fairness committee followed by a meeting with the HR manager with the fairness committee member on “my side.” That second meeting was basically me getting belittled and blamed for 3.5 hours.

    Unhappy with the results and dealing with my declining mental health, I reached out to the corporate HR manager about the abusive management at my company and this manager made a huge effort to help me. She taught me all my rights as an employee, encouraged me to get help through the corporate employee hotline and when that failed, set up a meeting with me and her boss while beginning an investigation into the abusive environment at my company. Unfortunately before that meeting, my company terminated my employment.

    I retained a lawyer and after about a year of some back and forth (things got delayed significantly because my lawyer got covid) I finally submitted my wrongful termination case against my company to the labour board. Up until this point I felt so uncertain and stressed about everything and was really doubting my decisions.

    About a month after my submission to the labour board, my company replied back with 16 pages trying to have my case thrown out and attacking my character. They also responded through an outside law firm and not the corporate in-house lawyers. About 1.5 months after my submission, the HR manager retires. I found out she was scheduled to retire in 2024.

    Suddenly my mediation meeting with the labour board and my company doesn’t seem so intimidating. Corporate refused to legally support my company and the HR manager retires early and is now back home in Central America. A key figure in all of this who conveniently will not be able to attend the labour board meeting.

    I have no idea if those two things are related to my case and I may never truly know but it sure is convinient for me. I did leave that company in good standing with corporate so I’m left to believe that corporate has been taking serious action with my company. Action that may have also included updating workflow, security and logistics (costing the GM and management huge money), and cracking down on workplace safety issues (costing the GM and management even more money).

    After covid arrived, my dislike of corporations only grew but I think it’s pretty humorous to watch corporate turn it’s back on my company. It’s beautiful in it’s own bureaucratic-hellscape kind of way.

    My goal at the labour board meeting is going to get my job back and hopefully getting a public apology at the monthly employee meeting while sending a problematic manager to a training course regarding abusive behaviour. After being forced to confront my own mortality through their abusive and negligent behaviour, money means nothing to me. No amount will bring back the dignity this place took from me and the others who work there. I’m hoping my actions are able to throw some power back into the hands of the employees and other workers there as well as bring more awareness to mental health issues.

    And to think, I probably wouldn’t have gone down this path if it weren’t for the head fairness committee member telling me that I should just suck it up. That I should just wait for all these problematic people to retire. He told me I couldn’t change anything. His attempt to de-escalate the situation by demotivating me may have backfired slightly.


  • I’ve always saw the bias against women on reddit until about a week ago when I got a chance to really understand that it’s more like pure, unfiltered hate against women.

    I rarely post to social media because it’s a huge energy drain on me but I decided to make a post on a support subreddit regarding toxic masculinity. I talked about how I was a target for bullying and harassment for not being ‘manly’ and shared experiences of witnessing gross and manipulative behaviour against women and lgbt+ people.

    I received a lot of positive feedback. Some men spoke up about seeing the same, unacceptable behaviour from their coworkers. Some women confirmed what I said was true and a few were happy just being validated.

    My post had to be removed because the moderator of that subreddit had been receiving threats about my post. My post didn’t violate any of the reddit or the subreddit rules. Some very angry individuals who couldn’t read the nuance in my post had claimed it was hate speech.

    The moderator contacted me and thanked me for talking about such topics. Ultimately she couldn’t deal with the hate that was being directed at her, which I completely understand.

    That whole incident really opened my eyes to just how much hate women get on that site. Leaving reddit for good got so much easier after that.