You walk into the office kitchen to heat up your lunch and are greeted by a mess. Your co-worker Bridget has left the communal area in disarray — again.

You’re frustrated. Where do you go from here?

Do you shame Bridget and make her feel bad? That might make you feel righteous in the moment, but is that actually helpful? Are you helping to improve your workplace — and most important, ensuring a clean kitchen the next time — by unloading on her? What’s the end goal here?

This is a hypothetical scenario, one used frequently by business etiquette trainer Kate Zabriskie as she helps office workers and managers think through best practices for harmonious and productive workplaces. But workers throughout the U.S. are dealing with their own Bridgets every day — or are one.

As companies increasingly recall workers to the office, employees and managers alike are finding that the pandemic made us all a little rusty with in-person conduct. Co-workers are too loud at their desks. People are on their phones during meetings. Shaking hands is no longer a given. Small talk at networking events is … awkward.

Bosses’ solution to this stilted behavior? Charm school.