aging

8-inch

This just in: the German government has classified the Model T as a “classic” automobile

Though it being difficult doesn’t excuse releasing an untested program or one with known issues…

there’s no wifi

Wifi is a lie! screams, starts looting

Seems pretty expensive vs just one chair…

"In some roles, there are some individuals who are best known as ‘dumbfucks’, like (teachers name) and (teachers mother) for not swallowing (teachers name). We can also call these individuals by the proper scientific term, ‘unfortunately alive’. In this totally-hypothetical situation, how long would it take (teachers name) to realize the ever-reducing brake pressure of their pedal, and inevitably, that their brake lines have been cut? Assuming their typical trip home, at what speed would they be traveling when they came to this realization? Lastly, what would be the most likely end result of these series of events, taking into account the afternoon rush hour traffic at [question part two] speeds, in their poor-condition 1991 Toyota Tercel?

Bonus credit (10 points): Keeping in mind that (teachers name) is a horrible person, estimate how many individuals might attend their funeral, and how many would be present just to confirm the body?"

Send that shit right back, with a warning.

Nah this is a blanket-rule, you get tested and you get tested, everybody gets tested!

You once were a child, making poor decisions. Are you still that way? (waves at the rest of the crowd to hold their comments) No? Would you look at that then, it’s like people are capable of growing and learning.

So, you fuck that bullshit narrative here and now, past and future actions don’t mean shit. People change for better or worse, and you don’t sit on your ass and point fingers because past or promises, but by current actions, things occurring here and now.

And right the fuck now there’s only one realistic option for the LGBT+ community in the states, so I don’t particularly give a damn what the fuck happened decades ago. If you’re still stuck in the past, might want to reflect on that. The rest of us have bigger shit to worry about.

reproduce*

“but I just don’t understand that” -that dumbass

Yeah, uh, Adobe products had that too - emphasis on the “had”. Lots of complaints from customers that their licenses are just randomly getting deactivated, that they need to buy a new version, that they were supportive piracy…

I own Affinity Photo 1+2 but I will hop ship to yarr town the second they pull bullshit like this. Trust no one, you just get burned.

battery explosions

Samsung: “introducing our new tracking devices!”

Nice, no phone means no constant nagging. Thanks MS, always looking out for me.

Any more details? :o

Your rent is only a grand? Lucky af

This was not a vibrating cockring.

I am disappointed.

or you can’t compete

Nah nah fuck that noise. ‘Jack of all trades but ace of none’ or however the saying goes, is a shitty way to go about things. I don’t have the biggest dick but I know my way around around the block, and I know I’m good at it. More specialized > the catch-all bitches.

Let the fucks with their special engine requirements eat shit. Standardize or write a fucking proper program (miss me with that “app” bullshit) or fuck right off. “everyone is special… exactly like you” now fuck off web dev. Your shit doesn’t get a permit.

…

I may have some… disputes with the way the web is done nowadays.

I was going to write a long series of events that grew in oddity and hilariousness until we all died a gruesome death, but that’s a lot of effort, so I’ll just put this here.

I was sitting here like “I didn’t know Italy was part of the US” because the title sucks ass, so here’s the bit you are looking for

sent wire transfers through US financial institutions to pay North Korea

there is just one

Well it’s cloudflare, not cloudsflare. Maybe overcasthosting, or sunblockservers…

one player

That one tank game where you took turns against the computer and/or others players begs to differ :P