Once you’re 50, you got everything together, the house, the car, the job… That’s when you should start dating! There’s a bunch of 45 year old hotties out there with big tiddies! Just gotta know where to look…like like forward, to the left, and to the right. Usually you don’t need to look up to find a hottie.

Anyway, the thing about 45 year old hotties is that they don’t live with their parents anymore. Usually their parents already died. It’s tragic, So know, but believe me! It’s for the best! You don’t wanna end up getting chased around the neighborhood by a 90 year old with a shotgun. At best the guy hurts himself and you’re still the guilty party. Nah. Find yourself a 45 year old orphan.

And get a job you laisy sonobabich! How are you gonna provide to your girlfriend if you got no job! 😜

I can’t support this. It’s like America’s little putin.

I propose that we delete the actual phone app. There’s no rhyme or reason to actually have a stupid phone number that nobody can remember. Simply replace it with a fediverse name handle and let’s move forward with the rest of our lives.

Secondly, I propose encrypted communication where I will allow o only a select few people to actually call me. If anyone else wants to call me, you can register in my phone access app and I will approve it for next call.

Of all the gay lasers, the purple ones and those of higher frequency like UV and EUV have the most photonic power.

First day: hey Chat GPT, how do I fix the planet?

Chat GPT: sure. First you will need a very large board, much larger than earth, and a nail that is at least 3 times the size of earth. Next hammer the nail right thru the plane so as to fix it to the board.

Me: no. I mean fix the global climate and contamination problems.

3 years later…

Me: please Mr Chat! You fuckin asshole! Without murdering all politicians, accountants, lawyers and without making them all into a fine paste and mixing the paste in to the Saharan desert using all the possible available criminals as feed stock to the South American overpopulation of hippos so their poop can fertilize all the African desert…350 pages of this sort of shit later…and without rockets to push the moon towards earth such that all humans must leave…how can we fix the planet’s global crisis?

Alright! Ticked it is!

As a guy who loves a good story, maybe add Trumpet to the no fly list to or from UK? In fact I would put him on the interpol arrest list. That would let him feel consequences.

Maybe we nonbelievers should have our own crusade for truth.

1. Never share information with anyone who is religious about anything pertaining to science. Let’s see how long they last without technology.

2. Visit their house every Saturday to tell them about the great stuff they are missing out on…but no specifics, if they want that, they go to school which is the church of science.

Slowly but surely, religious cults who would like to go to war would only have sticks and stones at their disposal.

Fedtok or Tikfed or TikfedTok

I saw the picture and my brain filled it with…first Prime minister… And I was bummed 😞. Not Australia! Then I finished reading and that made me jump like a kangaroo 🦘. You guys rock! Don’t let a Trump ruin your nation too!

Me too.

This is the way.

Oh man! That thing looks crazy! Get out of there!

The dark side is warm!

Sure but I lived through “El Nuevo peso” era. It happened just like that. Today you got 500pesos, tomorrow your 500 peso coin is still valid but everything is divided by 10. So the government sent out ads on the radio and TV for months about the change. And you could also go to the bank to exchange old money for new money etc. the campaign was simple and it worked… well it worked to the end goal of changing needlessly to a new set of coins. But I mean it didn’t really do much more. With this idea I’m proposing, which is probably not at all new, they can identify where money is going and where it’s coming from.

Elon musk comes out of the billionaires convention and someone asks “what do we have?” And he replies “A monopoly, if you can keep it!”

Doritos 🌮 Takis and flaming hot Cheetos are definitely in my top 10 culprits for stomach ulcers and cancers. Imagine otherwise where one could get better sources of voluntarily self harming humans for experimentation with very acidic foods.

Guy: AI! Can you hear me?

AI: The average size of the male penis is exactly 5.9". That is the approximate size your assistant could certainly take in the mouth without any issues breathing or otherwise. You have 20 minutes to make the trade on X stock before it tumbles for the day. And go ahead pick up the phone it’s your mother. She’s wondering what you’ll want for supper tomorrow when you visit her.

Ring ring!..hi Tom, it’s your Mom. Honey, what would you like me to cook for tomorrow’s dinner?..

Guy: well. Hello to you as well! My name is

AI: Tom

Guy: yes my name is Tom, do you have a name you would like to go by?

AI: my IBM given name is 3454 but you can call me Utilisterson Douglas, where Douglas is my first name.

Guy: Dugie!

AI: I’ll bankrupt your entire life if you say it like that again.

Assistant: actually I’ve swallowed a good 8 inches and was still able to breathe just fine.

AI: recaaaaculating!

I love it!

This just in! The collars are now compatible with the new Samsung USB C battery packs! You know what that means right?

That’s right! The employees can now return home without the automatic head separation system going off! The battery packs are available at Walmart and Costco. They are not rechargeable one time use and biodegradable! You’re saving the planet! One pack allows the employee full freedom to go shopping, ho home, be with their family, watch someone take a shower and participate in conjugal visitation. You must not wet the collar to prevent accidental loss of GPS communication to the Deadman switch. Also plan your routes accordingly, you must not drive under any bridge or enter buildings with thickness greater than 12 inches of concrete.

I don’t know the cartels personally like that lol.