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Cake day: January 4th, 2024

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  • The start of the Syrian civil war had nothing to do with anyone except the Syrian people being pissed off at living under the most restrictive police state in the Arab world. There were protests after a mass arrest and subsequent torture of 15 teenage boys who had spay-painted some anti-government graffiti on some walls around the city.

    Assad cracked down on the protests hard, which led to people saying, “fuck this shit, time for a revolution”.

    Iran started helping Assad, and then the US started helping the rebels. And yeah it’s a shit show now. But no, it would have kicked off without outside help.


  • Malfunctioned in this case means that the system wasn’t configured to record properly. You could watch it live on the monitor, but couldn’t pull up the recordings. This was for two cameras, one of which the recordings were recoverable.

    As to forcing his hand, probably. It’s a hell of a lot easier to do, and the prime suspect for passing the message along would have been Epstein’s own lawyer. All he would have to say is something along the lines of “you kill yourself, or they’re going to pull strings and get you put in General Population again.”

    But notice that “again”. See, he was in general population and had been attacked already. Then they put him on suicide watch, which is hellish on its own.

    My theory is that Epstein killed himself while Trump and company were still scrambling to figure out what they were going to do, because they had no plans at all for that sort of situation. Because my real theory is that no one is actually good at what they do, they’re all lying to themselves and each other about it, but that everyone, literally everyone on earth is generally some sort of fuckup, especially when shit comes out of nowhere. Like a powerful pedo who had fallen out of favor, showing that he was still a pedo and getting arrested for it.

    I doubt anyone planned for that, they had mostly forgotten Epstein after getting him that sweetheart plea deal a decade or so earlier. A lot of rich and powerful people had quietly cut ties at that point.

    They then wake up one day and hear that their old pal is in jail for more pedo shit, and they collectively shit themselves, but can’t do anything overt because then they would be seen doing overt shit to cover their own asses, and that’s almost as bad as Epstein talking.

    I’m sure there were a bunch of hushed conversations in secluded rooms about doing something to make it go away, and then realizing that they didn’t actually have any way to do so. And then Epstein killed himself anyway and saved them the trouble.

    After all, he was extremely rich, and had been accustomed to being extremely rich. He went from silk sheets to sheets made by the lowest bidder. He went from palatial living, to living in a cell, with the rest of his life being in a cell, with beatings thrown in for measure. All because he was guilty as sin, and had a prior conviction. Even if he never talked, he was getting life imprisonment. And I’m betting he was selfish enough to take the easy way out, all on his own.




  • https://www.factcheck.org/2019/08/unproven-claim-of-camera-malfunction-before-epsteins-death/

    The updates are key;

    Update, Aug. 19: The New York City Chief Medical Examiner’s Office on Aug. 16 publicly reported that, after a “careful review of all investigative information, including complete autopsy findings,” the determined cause of death for Epstein was “hanging” and the manner of death was “suicide.”

    Update, Aug. 30: More than two weeks after Epstein’s death and this story’s publication date, news outlets, citing unnamed law enforcement sources, reported that two cameras outside of Epstein’s cell malfunctioned and were being analyzed by FBI experts. The Washington Post reported that footage from “at least one camera in the hallway outside [Epstein’s] cell” was “unusable,” but “other, clearer footage was captured in the area.” These reports have not been publicly confirmed by federal officials.

    Update, Dec. 2: Federal prosecutors in Manhattan on Nov. 19 announced an indictment against two correctional officers working at the MCC on the night of Epstein’s death – charging them with falsifying records because they did not conduct mandatory checks on inmates. The indictment revealed that there was video footage captured in the Special Housing Unit, located on the prison’s ninth floor, where Epstein’s cell was located.

    Specifically, the indictment said that “aside from those two officers, as confirmed by video surveillance, no one else entered the SHU, no one conducted any counts or rounds throughout the night, and no one entered the tier in which Epstein was housed.” Epstein was “assigned to the cell closest to the correctional officers’ desk in the common area of the SHU, which was approximately fifteen feet from the cell.”

    So, at least some cameras in the prison properly recorded footage the night of Epstein’s death — showing, for example, that no one entered the tier where Epstein’s cell was located. The indictment does not shed light on other cameras in the prison or reports of a “camera malfunction.” We’ll update this story again if more information becomes available.


  • Except the cameras didn’t malfunction. There’s video of the cell block that shows an empty hallway. Now, there’s no video of inside the cells due to privacy concerns. There’s never cameras that show the inside of cells. This privacy feature has been turned into a “There’s no video from the cell because of broken cameras” by conspiracy nutjobs who don’t actually know anything.

    As to the guards sleeping or playing on their phones… There were only two for that section of the prison, and they had been sleeping or otherwise faking their rounds for weeks, if not months. The video evidence from the cell block is how they were caught.

    Epstein had been specifically pulled off suicide watch, even after attempting suicide previously. That’s the part that’s sketchy. He also had a visit from his lawyer a few days before where he changed his will to fuck over his victims.

    But no, idiot meme lords think some shadowy government figures came in and killed him without leaving any evidence of existing.

    I’ve read actual accounts of things the CIA does, and they wish they were even half as competent as the nutjobs make them out to be. Remember, these are the same people who used “pizza” as a code word in Lebanon to mean, “go to the Pizza Hut for more orders”, and then let Hezbollah sit and watch about a dozen agents and informants meeting at Pizza Hut.