If you have an -ism (and some would argue that we all have -isms) there is likely a 12-step group for that. What is needed for friendships to develop:
- Repeated exposure over time. This means being able to count on seeing someone regularly, like once a week at a thing during which you actually talk to each other (so movie nights don’t work).
- Trust. This comes either from how an event is structured (like the meeting format and principles found in a 12-step group, or the Unitarians have Small Group Connection Circles that function similarly, but without the -isms) OR from spending enough time together that sharing sensitive stuff is accepted and encouraged.
- Reciprocity. Both people have to put in the same amount of effort. (And share the same level of sensitive stuff. One can’t overshare about their personal life if together they’ve only ever talked about books.) This means you both commit to being the one to ask to meet up if the other one did it last time, or what have you.
I’ve spent a lot of time in my adult life trying to find ways to bring people together and develop friendships. It isn’t easy and most people aren’t willing to commit to one of the three things above, so you’ll have to go to places where they do.
If you want a community without the religion, I suggest trying out the Unitarians. Each congregation is different, but they don’t have any dogma and each person is free to believe what they like. They have all the good social aspects of belonging to church without any of the toxicity in other religions.
There’s a picture of the mayor being sworn in and another of one of the accused men. The article does not mention the race of the attackers nor how they self-identify.