Aight so what the fuck, for the first half of that video I could have sworn you nailed it, but I remember it being more than just bugs, so something seemed off. BUT! Related videos had the fucking thing!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FxyNP6SLsI

…never realized just how much marketing went into glamorizing ‘ick’ to little dudes lol.

…does anyone else remember that kit that was kind of the easy-bake-oven but marketed to little boys; it was this mad scientist kinda thing around when Goosebumps was popular, and you’d make your own candies by mixing little packets together, then mold them into spiders and brains and shit like that.

The brain stuff in particular was this fruity foamy gunk that I swear was the best tasting junk food that has ever or will ever hit the market. I was also probably like 5 y/o, so grain of salt.

land of the free

That was actually a typo from day 1 - it was supposed to say “fee”. You can understand why people are frustrated over the misunderstanding.

There are definitely risks, hence the infection warning at the end there. Mechanically speaking, it’s pretty simple… think of like a pump action squirt gun ‘super soaker’ or w/e from when you were a kid, except the end of the gun loops back into the tank it pulls from: so you push the mechanism to build up pressure, then pull the trigger to release that pressure.

Instead of pump it’s a button over a one way valve that’s on the reservoir that hangs out in your scrotum like a 3rd testicle. That’s filled with a few mL’s of saline, and when you press the button it squirts the saline into prosthetic balloons that match the shape of your corpora cavernosa - the two chambers that run the length of your shaft that normally fill with blood to enable fun times. Anyway, push the button until it’s hard, engage in fun times, then push another button that’s basically just another one way valve to release all the saline back into the reservoir. Everything is internal - you feel the buttons through the skin of your scrotum.

There are pictures (animated - nothing gory or anything… it does depict a penis and this is a sfw thread, so I won’t direct-post it here, but it’s about as sfw as a picture of a penis can be… high-school health class textbook type of image) in the link I posted down toward the bottom of the page if you’re curious.

I always thought it was kinda cool - we can restore a pretty significant part of someone’s life with just a couple balloons, tubes, and some saline, and it’s not like most prosthetics where we’re replacing something (i.e., total knee replacement uses a prosthetic femoral head and tibial plateau, but before we can place those, we break out a powered saw, and things like a hammer and chisel to cut out the original femoral head and tibial plateau… it’s gory as fuck). The penile prosthesis just kinda sits in space that the body already provides.

So, if your doc hasn’t already discussed stuff like this with you, you’ve got a shitty doc. But, 100% there are treatments for that.

I’m a surgical tech, so my brain always jumps straight to the surgical option - there are probably things to try first, but just in case nothing else works and your vasculature really insists on being a… well, dick; there are still options:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/penile-implants/about/pac-20384916

I’ve been in a few of those surgeries, and it’s literally just putting a balloon in the chambers that usually fill with blood to produce an erection. You fill the balloon manually from an internal reservoir when to get it up; then release the pressure back into the reservoir when you’re all done.

In any case, sexual health is part of health: don’t let social anxiety or fear of awkward or anything like that get in the way.

And if you go the surgical route, FOLLOW YOU PRE AND POST OP INSTRUCTIONS TO THE T!!! I’ve also done a revision of one of those implants cuz our patient didn’t keep himself clean during the immediate post op period, and got an infection that is the stuff of nightmares. Definitely don’t be that guy.

More liberals should have kids.

We can’t outbreed stupid: stupid breeds like rabbits. If that’s what our planet is depending on, it’s a lost battle from square one. Having a kid just so it can be a footsoldier against a hoard of orcs is cruel as fuck.

Yeah, some employers are really stupid about it. They treat it like a crystal ball. I’m not an expert in psychology, so the best I got is second-hand insight, but one of the perks of working in a hospital is I get to routinely pick brains that are a lot smarter than mine, to include a couple of psych PhD’s: ask them about the Myers Briggs and they immediately start ranting about how it’s pseodo-science bullshit. And some doctors do rant about shit outside their scope of expertise, which pretty well puts them at the same level of idiocy as the rest of us (i.e., if your ortho doc starts raving about how vaccines cause autism, the MD on his badge carries literally zero weight: he knows the fuck out of bones, but until proven otherwise it’s best to assume he got his education on vaccines from Fox news). But when experts in psych bitch about psych stuff, I take that at face value.

In more ways than one!

Surgical tech, here. :D

It’s used widely for actual hiring decisions. If you’re qualified for a job but they want an INTJ but you’re an ENTJ according the overgrown Facebook quiz, you get a rejection letter.

It’s unethical as fuck, and absolutely rampant in corporate America.

Now, as a team building exercise or role play to get to know potential clientele, yeah no harm.

The speedometer is also predictive.

Now if only those weird and miserable old men would stop calling me selfish for not having children.

I’ve found it works pretty well to just beat em to it. “Man, I’d love to have a kid, but bringing a child into this dumpster fire on purpose just so I can have a ‘little bundle of joy’ would be so selfish. It’s just not fair to the kid, ya know?!”

Worked on my parents at least, lol.

astrology for guys in suits

Naw they already made that, it’s called the “Myers-Briggs Type Indicator”.

That’s a testable hypothesis: burn Tesla, Twitter, SpaceX etc to the ground. We can measure his reaction to each, and compare.

We got a spot for him here.

My grandchildren will enjoy the relative bliss of non-existence.

✂️🍒

He is absolutely likely to try it again if released.

If it makes you feel any better, he’s only above legal justice. There’s still a sliver of hope.

A tip from the drama department:

(@time stamp)

https://youtu.be/ermpMhbZXUA?t=65

…probably wouldn’t as well with the specific type of tape shown in the OP, but for most other types, this is a good one to shove into your muscle memory when tearing off a piece.