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A long time ago, I tried giving similar advice to someone on reddit I saw had a similar vibe I felt I probably had some version of back in my 17 - 22 age range period. I think telling someone who feels hopeless about their own chances in relationship success stories where you personally can relate are the best way to pull someone out of an otherwise toxic spiral they often get stuck in.

Not the typical “be yourself” parental type advice, but like “I also felt” and “well until I” type of personal experience perspective. Use your own genuine growth and self-reflection as a cornerstone of how you talk to them. If you want to help, you need to talk to them in a way that makes them feel like they’re not the only person in the world who is experiencing or who has experienced the sort of despair they have.

And - as someone else pointed out - it isn’t your responsibility. And ultimately, the person has to themselves want things to be better. If they’ve decided it’s hopeless, there’s nothing anyone but themselves will be able to do… but it is noble to try.

At one point in my life, I had decided I would stop feeling hopeless after being rejected by those who I had fallen for, and instead work on myself. As a result, I ended up getting into really great shape, going on dates, and meeting lots of really wonderful people and growing as a person - ultimately finding someone who I eventually married and had a family with. I realized far after the fact that I must have been someone miserable to be around in at least some way - due to the way I was raised (also religious Southern sheltered family), and the poor socialization skills I had lacked as a result.

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The “not voting” thing is actually a little complicated.

First off - there are many people who don’t vote. The reasons are not always simple.

Yes there are lazy asshats who would support non-ghouls and could easily do it and don’t. You can shit on them.

But they aren’t necessarily the majority.

There are numerous hurdles that on their own aren’t tough, but that overlap and stack sometimes and when added up act as a significant obstacle that many just don’t see the benefit to trying to overcome :

• Polling places aren’t open on weekends or holidays. And there really isn’t strong protections for workers being given time to wait in long lines to vote. Many people work 40+ hrs a week at places that - although legally technically have to give you time to go vote, really have middle management types that WILL retaliate against you in a way that is technically hazy enough that any sort of legal consequence for them doing so isn’t worth pursuing if you are barely getting by and making poverty-line income.

• The Rs close polling stations ANYWHERE near poorer areas they can. That’s why places like Houston have like ONE polling station for a county with literal millions of voters. They know no one wants to stand for 4 hours in line in 105F Texas heat just to drop a ballot in a box that they also think won’t win because of how often the Rs like Cruz, Abbott, etc. keep winning or just holding on to their seats.

• Democratic officials voluntarily water down their own legislation in a stupid attempt to “reach out” and seek middle ground, which only lessens the motivation for voters… like instead of “we’re going to wipe out all medical debt” you get stuff like “we’re going to allow voters to go to a website (that barely functions) and they can fill out a 12 page form that will allow them to apply for a 1-time partial percentage-based rebate that changes depending on your income and insurance information for the past 3 years.”

All this shit adds up to only make people feel discouraged or that their vote wouldn’t matter anyway, or that there’s nothing really to show up to fight for.

Yes that sucks, yes people should understand that by not showing up, they then FORFEIT various EXISTING rights like the right to an abortion… but that’s not how people think. People show up for a REWARD… not to defend what they already have but don’t know what they might lose.

Like - here’s my favorite way to help people better understand this because I get into arguments all the time about that last point :

In the US, people show up for Black Friday sales, because the reward they imagine they’ll get is a motivating factor. Now imagine if instead of getting a shitty 65" TV for 75% off, Best Buy said “come in on Black Friday and fill out a form to protect your right to get a refund within 90 days when products are defective.”

No one would show up. And when Best Buy then decided because no one showed up to fill out the form to now no longer allow refunds, suddenly would a bunch of assholes saying “TOLD YOU TO SIGN UP FOR THE BEST BUY PROTECT YOUR PURCHASES FORM! SUCKS TO SUCK LOLOLOL!” be in the right? Yeah… I guess… but - again - showing up en masse to do something that protects a possible loss isn’t how people generally think when making decisions to do or not do something that asks them to inconvenience themselves.

Those of us who’ve been on the internet since the mid-90s remember how Digg fucked up. Apparently none of those people who remember what happened last time are around at the top of Reddit anymore.