Assuming they’re old enough to have a phone, obviously.
I have to send my daughter reminders to do things all the time because she’s extremely forgetful. She’s not annoyed by that, she’s asked me to do it. And whenever I send her one, I get a read receipt and no reply. And I’ve told her a bunch of times that it’s rude to not reply to texts like that, but she keeps doing it.
It’s driving me crazy. She’s a good kid, but why doesn’t she return texts?!
I am a parent and I agree with you. There is so much wrong about OP’s expectations. You summarized it pretty nicely.
One thing is to actually talk to your kid about managing their own shit. It is not my responsibility. I have enough shit to manage for myself. Oh yeah, you forget things? Feel the pain what it means to forget stuff! You don’t know how to make reminders or appointments? Learn it, for God’s sake!