• Sombyr@lemmy.one
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    1 year ago

    Achievable desire? To finally be in a stable place in my life so I can be together with the people I love, and finally have friends again. Might be bisexual, and my wife is totally open to a polyamorous relationship for me to figure that out, so tbh finding that out and maybe gaining a long term boyfriend is also high on my list of desires.

    Unachievable though? I want to miraculously recover from all my disabilities and health conditions so I can finally be normal. I want to stop relying on meds to keep me from turning into a batshit crazy nutcase every time I miss even a single dose. Or at least be able to take those meds every night without issue because of my damaged throat refusing to swallow nearly anything I put in my mouth except the most miniscule pills without choking and vomiting them back up. And I want to be able to operate my muscles like a normal person again, something which my meds have thoroughly fucked with, with nothing helping in the slightest. I straight up can’t even move my legs if my cat’s on top of them. He weighs barely 10 lbs. Plus I get sick constantly even when nobody around me is and nobody knows why. Last month alone I got sick about 6 times. I was only feeling relatively ok for about 3 days total.

    The good news, I guess, is every single one of my more achievable goals are well in sight. Just a few months ago they’d all be buried deep in with the unachievable ones, so things are improving little by little.

    Things have certainly vastly improved since about 3 years ago, when I couldn’t even will myself out of bed. So as whiney as I sound, I’m actually quite happy with where I am and where I’m going.

    • thrawn@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Here’s to getting all those achievable goals!

      On the pill front, is it possible to crush them and mix with something more easily swallowable?

      • Sombyr@lemmy.one
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        1 year ago

        Some of them I can, and do. Others aren’t crushable. With my doctors help I was able to get all the most important pills to be either crushable or dissolvable, and the rest are really small. Usually I’ve been able to get through them fine lately, but there have been nights I had to skip anything I had to swallow because I couldn’t get them down.

        Actually, it does occur to me that I was offered one of my meds in liquid form and rejected it once because it tastes awful and the pills were already small. I should probably ask for that so I have a little less to swallow every night.

          • Sombyr@lemmy.one
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            1 year ago

            It’s been so long since I’ve seen that that I completely forgot how dated the editing was. I think as a kid I thought they used actual magic in that movie.

            Unfortunately as I remember the one time I was given the med in liquid form, it tasted very similar to watered down bleach, which I’m not too sure sugar has the power to conceal. Not that I can’t handle it, just kinda hoped I wouldn’t have to handle it. It’s better than choking on the pills though.

            I hate being all negative though, so I’ll just say that I’m really impressed by the sheer amount of options that exist for people who can’t swallow pills. When I developed my throat issues I didn’t even have to stop any meds, just got switched over to smaller or dissolvable options. I thought I was just fucked at that point, but it turns out it was a pretty easy transition.